lottereinigerforever:

Max Linder

lottereinigerforever:

Max Linder

The Hard-Boiled Egg

(An updated version of a short story/monologue originally published in 2010 in Farrago Magazine)

(Read in a gruff, Chicago accent)

My name is Monty Spiffington, only everyone calls me “Killer” on account of what I do to time.

I was born in the upper east-side of Worcestershire, but when I was nineteen, I moved to the upper east-side of Chicago, to go to detective school.

Read more

Buster Keaton at age 4 

Buster Keaton at age 4 

zomgmouse:

zomgmouse:

zomgmouse:

zomgmouse:

zomgmouse:

zomgmouse:

Hello everyone who reads this (and those who don’t, but that’s less important)!

So, as some (maybe two) of you may know, I am going to be doing my very first comedy show in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival! Very exciting! I’ve called it “I Caught A Plane Today And Boy My Arms Are Tired!”, and it’s essentially a one-person revue. SO basically, there’ll be some stand-up (I’ll not even have a chair), as well as sketches, character pieces and so on. Plus I tap dance! In general, but also in the show.

So, if you live in Melbourne or are planning to visit/move to Melbourne, know anyone who lives in Melbourne or is planning to visit/move to Melbourne or just like the sound of the word “Melbourne”, it would be incredibly kind of you to come along, or at least spread the word so others do! There’s a handy Facebook event here, or for those of you like me who don’t use Facebook, my listing on the Comedy Festival’s website is here. Also follow my conveniently redesigned Twitter page for more updates!

It’s on on the 3rd, 5th, 10th, 12th, 17th and 19th of April at The 86 (185 Smith Street, Fitzroy) and tickets are $16 full and $13 concession. Although if you go to Melbourne University, you can get a 2-for-1 deal! Tickets can (and should) be bought online or at the door. If you buy them somewhere else, they’re probably fakes and you should call the police.

Anyway, thanks for indulging this self-promotion, and please act on it if it is at all possible.

Hope you can come (to the show, that is - although I do also wish you successful climaxes),

Ben

THIS OPENS TOMORROW SO PLEASE ATTEND IF YOU CAN!

Second show in a couple of hours! Go go go go go!

Third show tonight! It’s raining, so get an umbrella - then come to my show.

Fourth show! You don’t even need an umbrella this time!

Second-last show of the comedy festival! Please come along!

FINAL SHOW TONIGHT! VERY SOON!

zomgmouse:

zomgmouse:

zomgmouse:

zomgmouse:

zomgmouse:

Hello everyone who reads this (and those who don’t, but that’s less important)!

So, as some (maybe two) of you may know, I am going to be doing my very first comedy show in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival! Very exciting! I’ve called it “I Caught A Plane Today And Boy My Arms Are Tired!”, and it’s essentially a one-person revue. SO basically, there’ll be some stand-up (I’ll not even have a chair), as well as sketches, character pieces and so on. Plus I tap dance! In general, but also in the show.

So, if you live in Melbourne or are planning to visit/move to Melbourne, know anyone who lives in Melbourne or is planning to visit/move to Melbourne or just like the sound of the word “Melbourne”, it would be incredibly kind of you to come along, or at least spread the word so others do! There’s a handy Facebook event here, or for those of you like me who don’t use Facebook, my listing on the Comedy Festival’s website is here. Also follow my conveniently redesigned Twitter page for more updates!

It’s on on the 3rd, 5th, 10th, 12th, 17th and 19th of April at The 86 (185 Smith Street, Fitzroy) and tickets are $16 full and $13 concession. Although if you go to Melbourne University, you can get a 2-for-1 deal! Tickets can (and should) be bought online or at the door. If you buy them somewhere else, they’re probably fakes and you should call the police.

Anyway, thanks for indulging this self-promotion, and please act on it if it is at all possible.

Hope you can come (to the show, that is - although I do also wish you successful climaxes),

Ben

THIS OPENS TOMORROW SO PLEASE ATTEND IF YOU CAN!

Second show in a couple of hours! Go go go go go!

Third show tonight! It’s raining, so get an umbrella - then come to my show.

Fourth show! You don’t even need an umbrella this time!

Second-last show of the comedy festival! Please come along!

zomgmouse:

zomgmouse:

zomgmouse:

zomgmouse:

Hello everyone who reads this (and those who don’t, but that’s less important)!

So, as some (maybe two) of you may know, I am going to be doing my very first comedy show in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival! Very exciting! I’ve called it “I Caught A Plane Today And Boy My Arms Are Tired!”, and it’s essentially a one-person revue. SO basically, there’ll be some stand-up (I’ll not even have a chair), as well as sketches, character pieces and so on. Plus I tap dance! In general, but also in the show.

So, if you live in Melbourne or are planning to visit/move to Melbourne, know anyone who lives in Melbourne or is planning to visit/move to Melbourne or just like the sound of the word “Melbourne”, it would be incredibly kind of you to come along, or at least spread the word so others do! There’s a handy Facebook event here, or for those of you like me who don’t use Facebook, my listing on the Comedy Festival’s website is here. Also follow my conveniently redesigned Twitter page for more updates!

It’s on on the 3rd, 5th, 10th, 12th, 17th and 19th of April at The 86 (185 Smith Street, Fitzroy) and tickets are $16 full and $13 concession. Although if you go to Melbourne University, you can get a 2-for-1 deal! Tickets can (and should) be bought online or at the door. If you buy them somewhere else, they’re probably fakes and you should call the police.

Anyway, thanks for indulging this self-promotion, and please act on it if it is at all possible.

Hope you can come (to the show, that is - although I do also wish you successful climaxes),

Ben

THIS OPENS TOMORROW SO PLEASE ATTEND IF YOU CAN!

Second show in a couple of hours! Go go go go go!

Third show tonight! It’s raining, so get an umbrella - then come to my show.

Fourth show! You don’t even need an umbrella this time!

zomgmouse:

zomgmouse:

zomgmouse:

Hello everyone who reads this (and those who don’t, but that’s less important)!

So, as some (maybe two) of you may know, I am going to be doing my very first comedy show in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival! Very exciting! I’ve called it “I Caught A Plane Today And Boy My Arms Are Tired!”, and it’s essentially a one-person revue. SO basically, there’ll be some stand-up (I’ll not even have a chair), as well as sketches, character pieces and so on. Plus I tap dance! In general, but also in the show.

So, if you live in Melbourne or are planning to visit/move to Melbourne, know anyone who lives in Melbourne or is planning to visit/move to Melbourne or just like the sound of the word “Melbourne”, it would be incredibly kind of you to come along, or at least spread the word so others do! There’s a handy Facebook event here, or for those of you like me who don’t use Facebook, my listing on the Comedy Festival’s website is here. Also follow my conveniently redesigned Twitter page for more updates!

It’s on on the 3rd, 5th, 10th, 12th, 17th and 19th of April at The 86 (185 Smith Street, Fitzroy) and tickets are $16 full and $13 concession. Although if you go to Melbourne University, you can get a 2-for-1 deal! Tickets can (and should) be bought online or at the door. If you buy them somewhere else, they’re probably fakes and you should call the police.

Anyway, thanks for indulging this self-promotion, and please act on it if it is at all possible.

Hope you can come (to the show, that is - although I do also wish you successful climaxes),

Ben

THIS OPENS TOMORROW SO PLEASE ATTEND IF YOU CAN!

Second show in a couple of hours! Go go go go go!

Third show tonight! It’s raining, so get an umbrella - then come to my show.

pinkfled:

The Who, 1965

pinkfled:

The Who, 1965

imaginaryenemy-:

diaryofakanemem:

Send me a number and I’ll tell you my unpopular opinion. 
1. A selection of television programs you do not care for.2. A selection of musical artists you do not care for. 3. A selection of celebrities you couldn’t care less about.4. A hobby you “don’t get”.5. A habit you find disgusting.6. Something in school you really liked doing that everyone else bitched over.7. Your favorite household chore.8. Popular video games that make you go “meh”.9. PC or MAC?10. A sport you don’t like, for whatever reason.11. A sport you really like, for whatever reason.12. Television programs you love but have gotten shit for liking.13. Musical artists you love but have gotten shit for liking.14. A hobby you have/find interesting that other people bother you over/make fun of.15. A habit you have that other people bug you over.16. Something in school you hating doing and it felt like everyone else loved.17. The household chore that makes you want to shoot your own face off.18. A selection of video games that you enjoy that perhaps you really shouldn’t.19. A celebrity crush that maybe even you don’t understand.20. Free rant on whatever grinds your gears at the moment.

Yeah do it

imaginaryenemy-:

diaryofakanemem:

Send me a number and I’ll tell you my unpopular opinion. 

1. A selection of television programs you do not care for.
2.
A selection of musical artists you do not care for.
3.
A selection of celebrities you couldn’t care less about.
4.
A hobby you “don’t get”.
5.
A habit you find disgusting.
6.
Something in school you really liked doing that everyone else bitched over.
7. Your favorite household chore.
8.
Popular video games that make you go “meh”.
9.
PC or MAC?
10.
A sport you don’t like, for whatever reason.
11.
A sport you really like, for whatever reason.
12.
Television programs you love but have gotten shit for liking.
13.
Musical artists you love but have gotten shit for liking.
14.
A hobby you have/find interesting that other people bother you over/make fun of.
15.
A habit you have that other people bug you over.
16.
Something in school you hating doing and it felt like everyone else loved.
17.
The household chore that makes you want to shoot your own face off.
18.
A selection of video games that you enjoy that perhaps you really shouldn’t.
19.
A celebrity crush that maybe even you don’t understand.
20.
Free rant on whatever grinds your gears at the moment.

Yeah do it

zomgmouse:

zomgmouse:

Hello everyone who reads this (and those who don’t, but that’s less important)!

So, as some (maybe two) of you may know, I am going to be doing my very first comedy show in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival! Very exciting! I’ve called it “I Caught A Plane Today And Boy My Arms Are Tired!”, and it’s essentially a one-person revue. SO basically, there’ll be some stand-up (I’ll not even have a chair), as well as sketches, character pieces and so on. Plus I tap dance! In general, but also in the show.

So, if you live in Melbourne or are planning to visit/move to Melbourne, know anyone who lives in Melbourne or is planning to visit/move to Melbourne or just like the sound of the word “Melbourne”, it would be incredibly kind of you to come along, or at least spread the word so others do! There’s a handy Facebook event here, or for those of you like me who don’t use Facebook, my listing on the Comedy Festival’s website is here. Also follow my conveniently redesigned Twitter page for more updates!

It’s on on the 3rd, 5th, 10th, 12th, 17th and 19th of April at The 86 (185 Smith Street, Fitzroy) and tickets are $16 full and $13 concession. Although if you go to Melbourne University, you can get a 2-for-1 deal! Tickets can (and should) be bought online or at the door. If you buy them somewhere else, they’re probably fakes and you should call the police.

Anyway, thanks for indulging this self-promotion, and please act on it if it is at all possible.

Hope you can come (to the show, that is - although I do also wish you successful climaxes),

Ben

THIS OPENS TOMORROW SO PLEASE ATTEND IF YOU CAN!

Second show in a couple of hours! Go go go go go!